A Look Into the Past Year

This year has gone by so fast. I don't know if it is because of all the happenings in my life, or just the fact that I haven't paid enough attention to the time. I am going to go with the busy life excuse....

I have been horrible at keeping up with this blog. It's funny because I actually love to write. I have just chosen to be my typical self instead...procrastinating in everything I do.

Although most of you know, I think it is about time I write a post on everything that has happened in my life this past year.

I met an awesome guy, got engaged, and got married. All in time for him to deploy to Pakistan to hopefully get to help the people there that have been devastated by flooding.

So, let's start with the first part...Met an Awesome Guy:

Marcus and I met when we were about 8 years old. Family friends introduced us. (The Covington's) Well, introduced us as far as introductions go when your 8. haha

He was a wild child. Always flirting with me and trying to knock me out of the canoe. Apparently, I thought he was hysterical, or so I was told. Now I don't remember this...I thought boys were icky at 8, so I'm not so sure I believe this statement. ;)

Of course, now I am in love with the man, so I can't really say otherwise, even for when I was 8.

After years of putting up with his relentless flirting and silliness, I moved to Colorado with my mom and little brother. Each summer we would return and visit the Covington's, the family that connected us, and he would show up. We would always end up canoeing down the New River, and of course, he would jump out and swim up to my part of the canoe to try and pull me in. I would get so irritated, which I hoped would make him stop, but I'm pretty sure that only spurred him on more.

I never remember feeling anything for him other than annoyance, but I think every teenage girl convinces herself that she doesn't like boys for some reason or another.

I came back the year before last for a week and spent time with the Covington's, but this time, Marcus didn't come around. I asked Angi, the mom, where he was and why I hadn't seen him and she told me he had joined the Marines. Now, Marcus was an artzy child. Always painting on everything. I even remember the day he showed me the paintings on his ceiling. He was amazingly talented! I just couldn't believe that he had joined the Marines. She gave me his facebook name and told me I should write him. So, I did.

He responded about a month later. I was in Thailand by that time, and it was exciting to hear from another English speaker. When he first wrote, he wrote me about how he wanted to marry me. It was hysterical. We hadn't seen each other in 4 years. I wrote him back questioning him on why he would want to marry me. I played around with him a little in the following messages, but still wondered why he would make such comments.

I thought I would let him get to know me, and then see what he thought. We ended up writing each other pages upon pages of messages back and forth. I opened myself up to him, more than I had to anyone before. I guess I just felt I had nothing to lose. It was an internet relationship. The worst that could happen was he knew a lot about my emotions and my past and he wouldn't want to be with me. Marcus was different though. My openness interested him. He wanted to know more and more. I enjoyed getting to know him too. He loved Disney and music, theatre and writing, movies and hiking, kids and romance. Many of the things I loved. Most importantly, he loved Christ and was seeking to know Him and His word better each day. He was more stubborn than me, more strong-willed and a leader. He was a man that could challenge me and push me towards Christ. A man that I could love and encourage and support in all that he would become.

After Thailand, we spent each month flying to see each other. Skyping and talking on the phone. We talked more than I have talked to anyone, ever!

I fell in Love with him.

Second: We got engaged: Coming soon!!!.......

It's about time....

Well, I think I have put it off long enough....I was just glancing over my last message. All about how I struggled to get it together and write that last message. I laughed a little thinking about how hard this one has been. That last one's struggles were nothing like this one. Of course, I am home. I am back in my little comfortable world, jumping full force into hanging out with friends and family. I am a busy body. That has always been a given, but this blog's struggles come from me just filling my time with other, what I seem to view as: "more important things". This is equally important though. You all have supported me on this trip and my adventure and you would probably like to know the end result. So, I figured it is about time......

The last week was a rush of emotions and time restraints and scrambling to buy gifts for my family. Yes, I am a procrastinator! When you have more than 10 family members back home wanting stuff though, well, you probably shouldn't put that off till the last minute.

I knew that I would be leaving my ladies soon and that was the hardest part for me. They became family. I had learned their stories, spent time with them, seen the love they have for each other, and I wanted to stay. I wanted to see where they will end up. To see what life will bring them.

It did end with a bang though. Up until the last hour I was patiently trying to figure out if my hair show was going to happen. Sure, we all knew about it and a day was set and a rough estimate of a time, but when I remembered I was in Thailand and things just don't really happened as scheduled, I started to doubt. Lunch time came and went on my last day of work and I might have started to panic a little. You see, I wanted this to happen. I felt like these girls needed some fun and to show off what they had learned. To build extra confidence in not only the girls doing the hair, but also the ones that got to have their hair done. I felt this would be an opportunity that may not present itself again! But I forced myself to be patient and remember that I was there to serve them, not them, me.

It happened though. It was a rush getting it started, but once everyone was working, I realized this would be fun no matter how it turned out.

At the beginning of the show, I informed the girls that I wouldn't be helping them. If they had questions I would be happy to answer them or give suggestions, but I wanted this to be their own creation. To dig deep within themselves and create what they wanted to do. It was so cool seeing how well they did. To see the progress from 3 months earlier until now. It was so rewarding in my eyes.

They each proudly finished their models, looking over their styles from each angle, making sure that we were going to see what they wanted us to see, and they prepared them for a fun catwalk. We blasted the music and they all took turns coming down the runway, trying their hardest to walk like the models do that they see on TV. It was so funny and so amazing at the same time. I was so proud of all of them. Even the ladies that got to be models were radiating. I have never seen so much confidence from them. They were absolutely beautiful! And even better, they felt it!

I am so grateful that God used me in their lives. Whether it was just to give them skills so they could do better in the world than they could have before I came along, or just the fact that they grew so much in their confidence and self-esteem. It was such a gift and blessing to see them change.

I presented each of them with a new pair of shears and thinning shears....hair scissors, for those of you that are staring at the page going "what is she talking about." I told them those were for the future. To move forward and to encourage them that they can make it on their own. They are there. I also made each of them photo books with all of the hair styles we learned and pictures of each of them doing it. These were reminders of not only how to do the styles they had learned if they ever forgot, but also to remind them of how far they had come. Nothing is impossible! They can do anything they set their minds to! Especially with God and the Rahab community by their side.

The hair show was my favorite moment of the trip. Thailand was amazing. I experienced so many new and exciting things. Used a squatty potty for 3 months...haha well, there were some real bathrooms, but the point is...I just got to experience an incredible adventure. I was challenged in almost every way. Lonely at times, constantly fighting with communication barriers, and completely out of my element, but I loved every minute of it. I grew so much, changed a lot, and came back knowing that adventures are so crucial to our lives.

I would say that the most important thing I learned was that we need people in our lives. Not just the physical beings, but people that know us and love us and want to be with us even when we are thousands of miles away! God created us to rely on him and hoped that He would be enough for us, but he also created relationships, so that people could be the tangible representation of just a piece of the love he has for us. Of course people let us down, relationships come and go, but have people in your life. Allow them to be part of your adventures. Allow them to speak into your life and encourage you to be an even better version of yourself.

Through all of this adventure I learned to balance this aspect I spoke of above and giving 100% of myself to what I was doing. Each day I woke up and I completely and fully gave myself to Rahab. That doesn't mean I neglected my relationships at home, absolutely not, but I was able to concentrate on my work, learn some of the language, and build relationships with the people of Thailand, Patpong, and Rahab. I gave enough of myself that I wouldn't want to leave, but I knew that it was time. I think that is how it is supposed to be. To love and give yourself to where you are. Don't constantly be focusing on the future and what is coming next, but be present. Enjoy what is put infront of you, but find the balance and allow the people from where you come from to be a part of the adventure and to encourage you along the way! It's ok!

Thank you all for being part of my adventure. I am sorry that I couldn't post many pictures on the blog or on facebook. A lot of them, I just can't....it would jeopardize the identities of the women that I worked with. If you would like to see some....let's go to coffee or if you live far away feel free to write me and email laura.butterworth@yahoo.com and I will create a cd or something so you can see more!

Thank you so much for reading...I hope to write about more adventures and life....I love to write if you can't tell!!! I will keep writing, so keep reading if you like...

Until we meet again!

Laura

Ayuttyha...Temples....ruins....wats...oh my...

I have been fighting writing this week. I guess, maybe, well....maybe, it is because I am leaving in less than a week! Maybe, I am just busier than normal. hah! Maybe I am just being lazy!

This past week was a short one. I got back from hiking Phukradueng on Monday, so I didn't work. I ended up catching up on sleep and enjoying an afternoon with an American friend I have made here. We submersed ourselves in the world of Starbucks and A Christmas Carol in 3D, of course. It is funny how a mall here can make you feel like you are back in the states.

They freeze the theatres here, so the chill mixed with the 3D falling snow made me feel like I was back in Colorado. Unfortunately, the second we walked out of the mall the wall of 90+ degrees hit us with a fierce blow. Sometimes, I feel like I can't catch my breath; the heat is intense. Lucky for me...I'll be home in a few days in the frigid cold. Then, I can complain about that. Haha...well, I honestly have enjoyed the summer feel of Thailand. It has been a nice change from the usual Colorado cold. Bet you all wish you were here!

The bars this week were again a bit hard on me. Of course, entering that environment is always rough; I think sometimes I just assume it will be different. We went to a bar and chatted with 3 girls we have met before. It is always neat seeing familiar faces, especially in the bars. The lack of communication is overcome by smiles and giggles. You realize that they are beginning to see that you aren't there for what they can give, but to give. We just want them to feel special. To feel a little hope. Realize that someone cares. Sometimes a smile can do that. Amazingly, a little laughter really can brighten someone's day.

They ended up telling us that one of the ladies at Rahab had been working there at night to make extra money. Of course, non of us knew this, so the stunned look of shock was plastered all over our faces. We pulled ourselves together and finished the conversation just as the girls were called up for their shift to dance. We bowed in gratitude for their time (typical Thai fashion) and left for the evening.

You know...it's funny how hard it is to see someone after you just learned their big secret. They of course, rarely know that you know, but the intensity of the moment makes it feel like they do. Like their just waiting for you to call them out on their big mistake, secret, whatever you want to call it. But really, they have no idea.

We ended up leaving the news in the hands of the bosses and I honestly don't know if I'll know what will happen from the situation. I hope and pray that she will see that the money from the bars isn't worth it. It isn't hopeful, isn't loving, isn't anything that we need.

If I find out...well, I will update you if I hear anything.

My hair classes were interrupted by preparations for the upcoming Christmas party. Not to worry though, it was fun watching the ladies get excited about reaching out to the women in the bars. We hold a Christmas party annually to invite all the bar girls to. They don't even get Christmas off, so we hope to give them a night to eat, get presents, and feel loved in a real way! It is a really neat opportunity to reach the women in the bars and allow them to see what it can be like to leave the bars. We have a tree, wreaths, and crazy color tinsel everywhere around Rahab. The girls are busily preparing skits and dance routines to share with the bar girls. They even have a dance where they wear clown wigs and white gloves. Michael Jackson, anyone? haha I am not going to lie, I have had my share of giggling and teasing while trying to figure out what the wigs and the gloves have to do with the song. This is Thailand...that is the only logical reasoning! haha

On Thursday we headed off to a nearby town called Ayuttyha. It is the former capital of Thailand. I honestly don't know when, but it is filled with temples and old ruins of temples. The ruins were amazing. The architecture of each of them was so unique. You could see the different decades as they were forming into what they now call temples (wats). We even got to see a Camia style ruin. It is the same style that is found in Cambodia. The style that was used in the Jungle Book for the monkey temples. Each detail probably took hours to create and they built miles and miles of ruins in Ayuttyha.

We went to a balloon festival and watched the hot air balloons lift off into the sunset. They even did a night glow where I learned how to take night pictures with Alex's photography tips. I've posted some pics on Facebook.

There was also a concert in the ruins that evening. They had an orchestra and a "diva" or singer. She sung Thai songs and English songs with the orchestra as her accompaniment. It was pretty incredible. The evening wrapped up with Thai dancing by three different groups of women. It is a unique form of dancing where they use their hands and feet to portray the majority of the dance. I found out they spend years bending and stretching their hands and feet so they bend back in ways that I have never seen before. Apparently, the farther you can bend back your fingers and toes, the more beautiful. Interesting definition of beautiful if you ask me. I tried. Failed miserably. Although my fingers can bend a good way back...my wrists didn't even come close. It is an awful feeling. I can't imagine training your hands and feet to do the things they do.

The weekend ended with the King's Birthday. This is bigger than America's Independence Day. Fireworks for almost an hour. Partying in the streets. Markets open everywhere all day and all night long. Food everywhere you look. Dancing and shows on stages in every city in Thailand. All for their King. It is fascinating, the dedication and almost worship-like response they have for him. It is a bit strange, in a way, but I guess if you have ruled over a buddhist country for over 60years. Well, you become like one of their gods...just a theory of course. They all even wore his color. I guess he was wearing a pink shirt on the day of his release from the hospital (he is very ill now) and well, the whole country was wearing pink for days surrounding his birthday. It was crazy! Sarah, Alex and I were the only people in Ayuttyha not wearing pink. I almost felt disrespectful, but if you are a foreigner...you just get away with things...haha.

I can't believe I leave in less than a week. It is crazy! I'll be seeing some of you soon. It will be good to be back in the states...even though I will freeze!!!

Until next week!...

Laura

Phukradueng and Turkey Day

Sometimes, we have girls leave Rahab, go back to the bars. Normally it is out of desperation for money. Money controls people and I have never seen it more controlling than I do in Thailand. Nang is one of our ladies. She joined Rahab about 1 1/2 months ago. She is an incredibly beautiful young woman from Isaan. If you'll remember Isaan is the poorest provence of Thailand. She came to be a prostitute in Patpong because her family was in desperate need of money. They were in debt to many people, so they decided to make a deal with a loan shark. Nang became a sort of security on the loan. She would work and pay off the loan, and if it wasn't paid well the loan shark, in a way, would own her. It is a sick situation that happens more often than anyone even realizes. So Nang came to Bangkok in search of work. She ended up in the bars because she would be able to make the most money with her education level. It is unfortunate, but most of the bar girls in Patpong only have up to an 8th grade education. She worked in the bars for a fewmonths before Rahab found her. She decided to leave and make jewelry with us and search out her options for other trades she could do in order to help pay off her family's debt. She was such a joy to have around....every day she would ask me how I was. Always caring about everyone around her. I could tell that she really enjoyed her surroundings.

About 2 weeks ago Nang went to visit her village. We hadn't seen her since, at least not until Tuesday. Every tuesday night is bar night, so we went to one of the bars in the area and she was there. Dancing on the stage. I blinked a few times, trying to focus on what I was seeing. Confusion and denial started to overwhelm my mind. No, no, that could be Nang. As soon as her shift was up for dancing she ran over to greet us. I couldn't believe it. It was really her. She started to explain her situation and how unhappy she was.

This was all translated to me...but you can get the jist of what they are talking about because of their animation and hand movements. It was intense. She was so upset that she had to come back to the bars, but her family had told her that she wasn't making enough money, and they needed more. So, she needed to do what she did before. (just a note: sometimes Thai families know what their daughters, wives, and moms are doing, but for the most part, no one really knows, and if they do, it is ignored) Her family had forced her back into prostitution because of their poor financing and choices. My heart was broken for her. We made it very clear that she was welcome to come back to Rahab and have lunch with us or come and pray with us, whatever she wanted. She was welcome. We were there to support her. She was ashamed though. It was pretty obvious thatwe will have to assure her even more before she will come back even for a visit. It was really tough....really tough. You just want to save them all. Pay off their debt and hope that they never, ever have to sell themselves again, but it doesn't work like that. They will either create more debt or they will then believe that their child, mom, or daughter is now making very good money and so she will be expected to send even more home. It is a vicious cycle.

When you start a week like that, you just want to be with family. Especially on Thanksgiving. This year, though, I would have to settle for the 90 degree humid land of Thailand. I didn't even think celebrating it was going to happen, but I was happily surprised. I ended up getting asked by an American missionary that I had met at church if I wanted to come over and have thanksgiving with them. I have to say it was an incredible thanksgiving. For 5 hours I forgot I was in Thailand. I was submersed into southern accents and good southern cooking. There were about 40 people there. All missionaries. All coming together to support each other and build community. A pot luck to show how much they appreciate each other. It was amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better gift. We even had pumpkin pie. It is so neat to see the community and family that some organizations have. They didn't want anyone to be alone on thanksgiving. Everyone was connected. It felt like family in a way. I even got to play 2 rounds of Apples to Apples (one of my family's favorite games) and I even won(for the first time ever).

PhuKradueng:

I ended the week with an adventure. I met up with a thai girl and two girls, teaching at an international school (one canadian, one american) and headed up to Northern Thailand. We took a night bus (2 buses/8 hours) to Isaan to visit a National Park called Phu (mountain in Thai) Kradueng. Okay so I don't remember what Kradueng means. Sorry! Anyways, so we trekked up the mountain for about 6 miles. It was a pretty intense hike. The trails were small and steep and sometimes even had ladders just to get you to the next point. It was funny though, because about every km or so there would be a few restaurant stalls and bathrooms. Thai people are all about their food. They don't really go far without it. haha.

So, even though it was 6 miles and pretty intense, you could break 4 different times along the way. So, not to worry if your tired. Just get to the next resting point and stay as long as you like. It was funny, not at all how we do things in Colorado. There is only one trail up so it took us almost 5 hours. There were many people hiking and another thing about Thailand, you don't carry your stuff up. Someone takes it up for you. They strap many things to both sides of a bamboo pole, put a small pad for their shoulders on it, and hike all your stuff up for you. It was strange and made me feel really bad, but then I had to remember that this is how they make their living. This is what they do to survive.

So you shared the trail with the luggage carriers, the people walking with you and the people headed down the trail. At times it seemed a bit insane.

When we made it to the top, I felt more accomplished than I ever have before on a hike. Amazing how 6 miles can do that to you in Thailand.

We got to the top which is more like a plateau, found the camping area, got all of our stuff arranged, and headed to a nearby cliff on some bikes we rented to see the sunset. It was incredible. The bright orange sun coasting down below the mountains. You could see the mountain range and a large part of Isaan spread out before you. It was beautiful.

After dinner at a restaurant stall near our campsite...haha you will have to see pictures to see what camping in Thailand is really like....it is amusing....so, after dinner we went to bed. It was super dark and we hardly slept on the bus ride there, so

we were all ready for a good night's rest.

We woke up at 5am for the sunrise and walked to another cliff to watch. It was even more beautiful than the sunset. We grabbed a cup of coffee....yes, I know...really roughing it in Thailand, eh?.....and sat and watched the sun come up. It was bright and pink and orange...and the clouds around it were rimmed in the different colors.

We headed back to camp, packed, sent our stuff down, and hopped on some more bikes for a long bike around the top of the mountain. This was pretty much mountain biking with no helmet and a rickety old mountain bike that made you feel like it would fold under your weight. We squeaked along to a nearby waterfall and snapped a few pics, then headed off to the cliffs. Most of the cliffs are connected by trails so you can ride the trails along the edge of the mountain. It is breathtaking. For miles you ride and see mountain ranges and Thai towns down below. Pictures don't do it justice, but that seems to be the case no matter where you go.

After biking for awhile, we headed back down the mountain and spent the rest of the day in my Thai friend's village. I learned that Village in Thailand actually can mean anything for the hut kind of village to a neighborhood. Her village was a neighborhood. It was filled with people that were anxious to meet the white foreigners. We were greeted with a meal from a funeral procession. We met all of her family and learned that she was related to most of her village. They all worked together to make sure everyone was fed and cared for and even built houses and such for each other. They were a real community...looking out for each other. No one was without. It was really neat to see. We even visited her family's rice fields and watched them cut and collect the rice. I felt like I was really in Thailand. Living in the city is such a small piece of what Thailand is like. It was so nice to escape the hustle and bustle of the city and see what life was like for the people in Isaan. To really understand where most of the ladies of Rahab come from.

I arrived home at 4am this morning...thinking about how little time I have left here. Only two weeks. I can't believe how fast it has gone by. I am trying not to think about it too much, but it will definitely be hard to leave these people that have grown so dear to my heart.

Until next week.....

Laura

Blur...

This week was really tough on me. It got to a point where the exhaustion, the emotions and the interruptions were unbearable. I spent my few moments of silence wishing that I could just be at home. In my comfortable life. Where my shower is clean, I don’t have to watch my every step, a place, where I can fully be myself and feel perfect bliss.

It’s funny, though, because the more I thought about it the more I remembered my conversation that I had with my mom when I told her I was coming to Thailand. I told her I didn’t want to be comfortable anymore. I was done with the mundane life I was living and I was ready for a good challenge. Something to wake me up…help me to feel alive again. So, here I am complaining about being uncomfortable, when all along it is what I wanted. I know, I know, so just stop complaining Laura…

I wish I could say it was that easy. I have been reading this book called Secondhand Jesus. (thank you Vickie and Jackie) It is a book that really questions if you know where you stand in your own faith. If you have been believing someone else’s’ idea of who Jesus/God is or if you have built enough of a relationship with Him to really know for yourself. This week I was reading about the rumor that God wants us all to be happy and live lives of success and joy. I realized that it was in perfect line with how my week was going. It was a struggle, this week, and all I wanted was to feel comfortable. Isn’t that what God wants too? He doesn’t want me to suffer right? He doesn’t want me to feel exhausted every time I wake up? He doesn’t want me to see women getting abused and being disrespected to unfathomable degrees? Right?

It all brought me back to something that I always say to people…especially when I feel they aren’t walking the walk. Hah, but really I should take my own advice. I mean I kinda believed it before, but now, it seems so real, so truthful and something I should be acting on everyday. God calls us to take up our cross and follow him. The cross is a symbol of suffering. Something that is heavy and hard to bear, and yet, we are supposed to pick up our heavy cross, each day and follow Him. Experience a life that isn’t easy. That isn’t comfortable, that isn’t always filled with success and prosperity. Sucks, huh?! Well at least that is how I felt about it this week. God was asking me to pick up my cross and continue to serve the people of Thailand, and I was stuck thinking of ways to make myself more comfortable. Ways that I could serve myself and feel good about myself. It was a fight…and when you’re already tired. It is a battle you are bound to lose. I broke, I surrendered my desires, my wants, my hopes, and dreams all to God. Told Him to take it all and I would follow Him. I would be willing to bear my cross and continuing serving the people here. Don’t get me wrong, it is the farthest thing from easy to surrender, but the joy, the hope, the peace amidst the rough week seemed to settle in. I started to realize what it meant when my pastor said that we are to rest with God through the storm…..Life will rarely be easy….how will you react to your lack of comfort, your lack ease?...

The Bars this week felt heavy and it took everything in my not to go and yell at the foreign men I see in them weekly. To tell them how destructive they are being to themselves, these girls, and their families at home. I have to restrain myself sometimes….bite my lip and pray that I don’t punch someone. It’s awful. I am there to love the ladies in the bars. To talk with them about their families and portray the care that Rahab as an organization has for them. This week, maybe it was the exhaustion, maybe the heaviness I felt, I’m not really sure, but I cringed at every man in the place. All touching the women in horrifying ways, asking favors of them that I had never in my life seen or heard of, asking them to really work for the money they were about to spend on them. Ahhh!! It is killer to hear…especially when you recognize it as an American accent. The reminder that I live in the country and love the country that these men come from. It is a harsh reality.

I was feeling the heat and anger build towards these men, and I realized that I had forgotten to pay attention to the women there. I was sitting with 3 women that spoke a few phrases of English and they were all so beautiful. When the women of Patpong smile, and I mean really smile…not the seductive smile they use on the customers, but smile from deep within, it is the most beautiful thing. One of them was having a deep conversation with my Thai outreach partner. Now, I wish that you all could know what it is like to see emptiness in someone’s eyes, maybe some of you do, but this girl…she started the conversation with the same blank stare you get from all of them…and then a spark lit. I am not kidding. Something had grabbed hold of her attention. Something that made her feel. Feel emotions she hadn’t felt in a very long time. I don’t know a word of what was being said, but I could tell, something was said that began breaking down the wall she had built up for herself. The wall that had created a numbness in the midst of intense pain and suffering. She had to leave us to go up and dance for her 15min shift. I watched as she barely moved. Her mind was elsewhere….feeling, thinking about the things that had been said. The spark in her eye was so evident though…something made her different from the other girls now. It was awe-inspiring…we hope to return and see what continues with her.

The rest of my week was a blur of craziness and so much multi-tasking I thought my head was going to explode, but I made it through. I even picked up an accounting duty where I get to organize all of the donations into excel spreadsheets. Funny thing is, I actually enjoy it. I guess I just like a little variety.

My hair class went well this week. I can’t believe I have only 3 weeks left. It is insane. Where did time go? I love seeing the ladies grow in their confidence and I challenge them to help each other learn as well as try to broaden their skill set with my own knowledge of updos and makeup. It is fun to see them being creative. Thai culture teaches you to not be creative. You are only there to soak in knowledge, to soak in your surroundings…you don’t really create anything on your own. Not saying that never happens here, it is just that they have been brought up believing that they can’t be creative or really think for themselves. It is sad. I have to say hairdressers can’t be like that though…that is why I am trying with all my might to get them thinking again. To allow them to figure out the way they think they would do things. It is really fun to watch.

My exhaustion leaves me with not a lot to say…I don’t remember a lot of the week. It was jam-packed and I was tired. I spent the majority of the weekend resting though…ready to conquer another week…or at least I hope…..

Fan Death and Cockroaches...

Today a mixture of Korean and Thai Facts:

1. I just can't get over this one, so I have to share it. Koreans believe that if you are in a room with no windows or sealed windows and a fan is on, you will die. Funny huh? They have warnings on the tags of fans that you can die from Fan Death. Jackie even showed me a video of an English teacher in Korea trying to prove that it was impossible to die from a fan, no matter what the case. They think that it will suck all the oxygen out of the room and then create enough carbon dioxide to kill you. The other way you can die of Fan Death is the fan apparently creates enough coolness to get your body temperature down to a state where you can die of hypothermia. haha...I am sorry, but it was so funny. They even have timers on their fans to prevent either case from happening. Look it up on Wikipedia or You Tube if you want to know more.

2. Koreans don't steal things...at least not like in Thailand. Jackie and I could leave our purses at the table and go and get our food, that isn't a possibility in Thailand. In fact today, I sat in a bus seat with a stab mark in it. No joke. Sarah said that one time, on the bus, she felt someone tug at her bag. Once she got off she realized that someone had tried to cut it open. There was a gash in the back. I mean, seriously people! It was so odd to be able to leave my things around in Korea. In Thailand I have to hug my bag tight to my body. It is a necessity!

3. I have no idea how to explain this, and I may have said something like it before, but it is a daily problem, so I will state it again. Thais and Koreans...maybe other Asian cultures as well, they just have no concept of thinking about anyone but themselves. It is so odd. I go up to pay for something at the cashier, and no joke, I am 2 feet behind the person in front of me, and two people jump right in front of me. Not like slide in front of you smoothly or anything, they literally push me out of the way, so they can pay first. What the heck people!? I was struggling to not get frustrated to say the least. They also frequently stop in front of you while you are walking in a mall and such and look over in the window and start doing their hair and makeup and stuff. Men too! It is the craziest thing. You have to be on full alert all the time or you run into them. It is psychotic!

This week, I was a walking Zombie. I came back from Korea and realized that I may have stayed up too late every night. Haha, but you know what, it was worth every minute! My friend Jackie and I got to poke fun at Korean and Thai culture and reminisce about the time we have been in Asia so far. We shared conversations with depth we hadn't had in months. Made us both realize how valuable that is to have in our lives. It was so fun to just hand out and reconnect. God obviously knew we both needed it!

Although I was a zombie I managed to make it through the week. I didn't end up going to the bars this week, Sarah took my place, but she said that it went very well and a lot of the girls are starting to remember us and relationships are really being built! Yay! Yay for that. It is such a neat experience when you see one of them on their way to work and you can say hi and ask how they are doing and they remember you! It is amazing to see the impact that Rahab is able to make in the area of Patpong.

We had another Thai Craft fair on Saturday. It felt like the longest day ever, but I managed to make it through. We sold a lot of jewelry and the girls I went with are really growing in their confidence. They were able to help the customers and talk with them without my help. I was impressed with them. I sat back and watched for a lot of it. That is a good thing, you see, because they need to be able to do it on their own. If I chime in, they immediately give the whole conversation to me and they won't try, so I am learning to just answer questions and be there, only when necessary.

After the fair we went and dropped off all the jewelry back at Rahab. It was pouring so hard. There was 5 inches of water on the streets. It was the heaviest rain I had seen so far. We decided to brave it and walked out onto the sidewalk. It was almost covered in water as well.

I had always heard stories of the things that crawl up out of the drains when it rains, but this was my first experience. I looked down at one point and there were hundreds of cockroaches. Everywhere!!! Ahhh....I hate those things. Maybe it is the fact that they are so hard to kill, I dunno, but they totally make me freak out. When I was in Uganda I used to wake up with them laying on me, sitting on my pillow, or crawling across me. It was horrifying, to say the least. Now I just have an inability to cope with the creatures, so I started running. The girls thought I was hysterical until one of them realized that one had crawled up her pant leg. She freaked out worse than I did. It was good times. We just laughed at each other after that.

I enjoy every moment I get to spend with the girls. Even though there is such a language barrier, I just can't get over how unique and special each and every one of them are. They all care for me in different ways and know how to show it in a way that I totally understand. I have even gotten to the point where they can speak Thai to me the whole time and motion with their hands and I can speak English and it is like we are on the same page. This mutual understanding of each other has developed. I love it. It is such a special thing. I even sat with a 3 yr old tonight and we talked about superman for 30 min. Him in Thai, I in English. It was so cute. I honestly have no idea what he was really saying, but he uses sound effects and motions and occasionally says my name just to make sure I am listening. It is so amazing. He recently got a spiderman outfit, so he is all about the super heros. We have daily fights we he runs at us and stabs us with plastic swords and such. It is so funny. I have finally gotten down how to really act like I am dying when he stabs me. He takes his fights very seriously!

I ended up having one of the girls teach hair this week. It was an idea that stemmed from the fact that my shoulder was hurting me one day and that she is very talented and I felt they need to see that they can learn from each other to. I am not going to be "the foreigner that is the only one that can teach hair," nope, not having it. So, I asked her to teach, and although she hesitated for a bit, she finally caved.

The girls did better than ever with it. She could talk to them in thai and help them really understand how to twist the hair and make it work the way they needed it to. That is something that I can only show, I can't describe it well enough because the translator doesn't do hair...she has no clue what my terminology means. I loved watching her teach, she did a wonderful job. She hopes to own her own salon one day and I think that she would be really good at it.

Well, another week. I have 4 left...geez time flies. I am learning to live each day in the moment. Not think too far ahead. Enjoy the time that I have with them and not think too much about the future. Until next week.....

Frozen Fog and Lost in Korea....

Well I just arrived in Beijing. It was frigid! I think I slept 2 hours on the plane and they tried to feed us a meal at 2 this morning. Ahhh! I know that they want to break the flight up, but come on, who needs food at that time in the morning, let alone a whole dinner. I picked at my roll and my fruit and drifted off into sleep. I woke up to the loudspeaker informing us we were about to land. My neck had a serious crick in it. I was struggling to wake my mind up. Everything was fuzzy and I must have missed the whole part of the flight where you fill out those crazy forms for immigration purposes. I got off the plane to the shock of the 30 degrees. This was the first time I have worn a sweatshirt since I left Colorado. It definitely wasn’t enough. I was shaking, thinking all about Colorado and the recent blizzards and snowstorms they have been having. I might have said something about how I wasn’t sure I could go back! Seriously, after living in 90 degrees everyday, you start to feel cool even if the breeze blows your way. It is a bit ridiculous I know, but oh dear, I don’t know if I am looking forward to the chill of Colorado.

I should fill you in, I guess now that I think about it, not many of you know that I am traveling to South Korea today to visit a friend from Colorado. She is teaching English in Seoul and I was totally blown away that the opportunity to visit her presented itself. My visa for Thailand expires next week, so I had to leave the country no matter what, but I just happened to find a ticket that I could swing. It will be a treat for the both of us. To talk to a first language English speaker and someone that knows me. Let’s just say, I am beyond excited.

So after getting off the plane, I realized the airport was going to be a similar temperature. I am wearing sweat capris and the airline attendant point out to me that I was going to freeze. Too funny. I thought I would be fine, yeah, maybe not so much. Now, I am just typing in the cold. Brr…. So, I went through a series of customs, the usual. You all know probably a bit about airports, so I will spare you those details. Then, I notice that I have no gate number. No problem, this has happened before. So, I walk up to the desk and ask what my gate number is and the man proceeds to flip my ticket upside down and point to a series of letters and say “yeah, here.” huh? What?, those are all letter things, and all gates are a combination a letter and numbers(in the terminal I am in they all start with E). All I see is an I, backwards C, and upside down T. Oh right, yeah, makes complete sense. What language is that by the way. I was starting to wonder if they had a new way of writing Chinese characters. Okay, I said to the man. I felt beyond confused. I think he could tell, so he just pointed. Yeah, sure, pointing helps a lot there are only 60 gates, one of those has to be mine.

I decided at that point to find the screens that tell you departure times and arrivals. I at least had a flight number and a time it was leaving. I finally found one after wandering aimlessly for 15min. Yeah, so the direction he so politely pointed me in, not correct in any way. I was on the opposite side of the terminal. So, obviously the boarding pass turned upside down was an attempt that was no better than my own knowledge of where my gate was. I think I might have rolled my eyes a couple times, then proceeded to my gate.

This week was busy. I know, I know, I say that a lot, but it is crazy how busy you can stay all the time. I went to Loy Krathong on Monday. There were thousands of people worshipping the river. It was neat to see and a bit, well, it made you wonder who created this idea of a river god. They were bowing down at the edge of the river, offering it money and beautiful Krathongs, the little boat things with flowers and leaves woven into a small masterpiece. I will post pictures on facebook soon. Man, to see thousands of people though, thinking that this river would destroy them all if they didn’t offer up their money and Krathongs. I guess I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what kind of person could concoct such an idea. I mean that would take a lot of time, and what kind of power would you need to make everyone believe it. Weird, to say the least. They also offered different kinds of river animals to give back to the river. Turtles, eels, various fish, snakes, whatever they spent their whole week before fishing out, just to return. Now, I have to say what got me the most is, in the area I was in, there were men in the river taking the money off the Krathongs that people had just put in. They would literally shred these masterpieces searching for the money. Now, don’t get me wrong, they were probably making some serious money doing this, but it made me wonder, so if these people think this river god exists, then how does this make the river god feel. They are stealing the money that was an offering to him. I mean imagine, your sitting in church and the offering is being taken, and the guy next to you takes your offering out instead of putting it in. He isn’t even secretive about it. He practically is screaming and tearing the offering basket to pieces. What would you think? Just made me think a bit. Apparently these gods they so easily give their souls to seem to mean less to them than you would think.

Well, enough of that thought, the bars were good this week. As good as brothels go. I met a girl whose mother was the mama san. It caught me off guard. She introduced me too willingly. I had to hide the shock on my face. I mean, your own mother is the one who encouraged you to this life. Wow! I had some really good conversations though. Girls commented on the jewelry I was wearing and we were able to talk with them a bit about Rahab. They gave us their numbers and we, ours and we hope and pray that they will feel like there is hope for them. There were 3 girls, all had been there less than 6 months. One even had a 6 month old and was telling us she was only working there to provide for her family. Gosh, it is really heart breaking. You can feel the desperation. Hopefully a seed was planted, we will go back and visit again and see how they are doing.

I don’t know if I have mentioned before or not, but we have 6 new girls at Rahab that have joined us in the past 3 months. Other than the one I mentioned last time, they are doing really well. One of the new girls has found her niche in teaching the other girls how to crochet. She makes some incredible scarves and bags. She has been teaching the other girls how to do it and they are all doing really well! It is so neat to see them do really well at something and then thrive because of it. It builds their confidence in amazing ways.

Well, I just got lost in Korea for 3 hours. I am amazing I tell you. My friend Jackie even gave me great directions. I was within a block of her place the whole time…oh man! I am beat though, going to go catch her at the school she works at and enjoy a night on the town, so I have to end this for the day. I will catch you up on more soon. Hope you all have a good week!

Laura